Letter to the Goddess - #2
By Staff Writer: Paganus Greybeard
Goddess -
I come here before You with Letter Part #2….
Again - May this find Your acceptance……
Goddess -
I am again here - writing by hand….
The Darkness is lessened.
I cannot say it is gone.
It may never be gone.
It is lessened.
Emotionally My senses and feelings are not nearly as Dark
as they were but a few hours ago.
How this can be I cannot say because I do not know.
I do not understand it. Yet it is real. Quite real.
My situation in this household is in no way changed.
Palm Springs is still a ‘no-go’. As of this moment it is
a ‘no-go’. {20:15}{8:15p}{03/20/2006}
Perhaps something Metaphysical/Spiritual/Ocult has changed.
Perhaps. I cannot say what it is or what it might even be.
I do not know this. This is far, far beyond anything I have
yet read, studied or previously experienced….
I do know that the brief words of the Mystress have helped.
Her words helped. So too did something I may have done.
I stopped pushing so hard to obtain an answer or answers.
Perhaps it really does matter not if I am able to do
Palm Springs Festival. Perhaps I am meant for something else
this week? Or perhaps I am meant to only do what is always done -
My tediously predictable daily and weekly routine?
I cannot say.
I do not know.
I did something else today.
I re-set My own personal ‘production’ ‘deadline’ schedule.
I again told the Mystress My words and writings would come in
on Freya/Frid’s day. I took the “Get it done - Get it done NOW!”
pressure off Myself.
I also admitted that perhaps My only known - at this moment in time -
way out of this never ending nightmare of my ‘life’ in this household
is through survival, endurance and outliving/outlasting my family.
Which is - obviously - also a nightmarish event scenario.
A bad scene no matter how it plays out…..
I also admitted I have questioned why I bother/bothered with any of this.
My head, emotions and psyche have been in a rather darkly-grey and
gloomy place for the past few days. The weather - admittedly! - has not
helped. A dark-black place? No. Merely a middling grey murky gloom.
Think of a cold. foggy day with a slow, drizzling rain. Very sloppy and
messy. Perhaps even dangerous - But it can be dealt with.
By some way -
By some means -
I am writing these words -
and dealing with it…..